In a city that seems to pride itself on people wedging their cars into impossibly tight parking spots, you two took the cake. As I was trying to enjoy brunch, I couldn't help but notice you roll up in your SUV with Cali plates. I thought to myself, there is no fucking way they are going to get that thing in that spot. But sure enough, you did! After your masterful display of parallel parking prowess, you left your front bumper about a quarter of an inch off the car in front of you. I started fantasizing that it was my car and I wanted to go over and get in and just start throwing it in reverse to drive, back and forth smashing the shit out of your car. How did you think that car was going to get out? Oh wait, that would entail thinking about someone other than yourselves for just a moment. Oh, and nice move leaving the dogs in your car. I hope they shat all over it while you ate.