"There is evidence that the president committed obstruction of justice..."

"Can you say that differently? More animated maybe?"

"Numerous people lied to the Special Counsel, which impeded our investigation."

"Gawd, you're so BORING."

"The president attempted to fire the Special Counsel, then lied to cover it up."

"Oh my god, how old are you? SNOOZE!"

"The president can be charged after leaving office."


"This just in: Robert Mueller fails to change people's minds and President Trump declares victory. Now to our correspondent who will incessantly go over the optics of Robert Mueller's testimony, while brushing over the core facts."