I can’t wait for your big ugly red beard to accidentally catch fire. I’m hope it happens on your second date with that thing you found at Kell’s. Go for Italian. Some place with those red candles on the table. Lean in, let her check that nasty thing for soup. It will be dark in there, very romantic. Oh but it sees something in your beard, Moving! She yanks that skanky mouth rug closer, and poof! All gone. You cry heartily while rubbing your new mutton chops.