We met on tinder and exchanged texts for weeks before we met up for brunch. You didn't have much to say but seemed nice and we had been talking for a while. And we both agreed Portland is full of people who just want to get laid but neither of us wanted that.
So I invited you over. I showed you around the house and you insisted we go to my room. So we did. And then you gently pressured me to have sex with you. I kept refusing until you decided to leave... And then I noticed it... You wore your f***ing dirt-covered shoes in my bed the whole time. In my bed with white sheets.

I've never been happier to have someone ghost me.

BYEEEEE good luck ever getting laid wearing your f***ing shoes to bed.

Also might be difficult since you are the definition of an asshole.