The air quality in Portland is just bloody awful. And you describe yourself as an eco-friendly lover of the planet, a person who not only recycles, but reduces and re-uses. Good on you! And then you go and ruin it all by sitting around a fire pit, burning wood for hour upon hour, day after day because doesn't it feel nice and somehow primal to sit around a fire? And that barbecue in your backyard where you cook the cheap meat that smells like raccoon road-kill... that's doing a world of good for the planet also. And watering your grass... that's brilliant when most of the state is in a drought. You are a brilliant shining star against a sad backdrop of burning rain forests, murderous, painful slaughterhouses, and mass extinction. The cherry on top is when you yell at your dog for being a dog - this shows a true "at-oneness" with nature that most people could only envy.