To the fucking asshole that just screamed out of the passenger side window for me to get the fuck out of the road.

You’re a fucking idiot. Not only are most roads in Portland “bike streets” even if they don’t have bike lanes but you better believe I’m allowed to bike down ALBINA for four blocks on my way to MY HOME without some fucking douche bag screaming nonsense at me. Also if you would take two seconds to actually familiarize yourself with Oregon Vehicle Code you’ll find that bicycles are allowed on streets without bike lanes and may ride as far right (or left on one-ways) as SAFELY APPLICABLE. That means I get to avoid the door zone so I don’t get a parked car’s door straight to my fucking face again, which has happened cause another douche bag just like yourself couldn’t take the time to look outside their own perspective. Go figure. Also, your beautiful girlfriend that you don’t deserve at all that was apologizing to me profusely as you belligerently screamed at me is allowed to cross a double yellow line into the oncoming lane when it’s safe to do so to pass me. You think I want a car breathing down my neck!? No, it’s fucking awful and scary and nerve-wracking. I’m just trying to make it home from WORK IN ONE PIECE. Excuse me for not adding to the insane traffic problem (yep, bikes don’t clog the freeways or neighborhood roads despite what your tiny little brain and penis probably think). I hope you get it fucking together before you kill someone on our roads. And I hope your girlfriend dumps your ass, you fucking prick.

Xoxo hottie on the Bianchi that will literally fight you