We all know the Portland station that plays the same Goddamn Christmas songs every year. Please God don't let them ruin another Christmas! I cannot stand another does of Mariah Carey screaming what she wants and endless variations of "Last Christmas." Please Jesus, have mercy. Make them play better Christmas songs. Real ones. You know, Tim Minchin's "White Wine in the Sun," or the Dropkick Murphy's "The Season's Upon Us," or The Everly Brothers "Christmas Eve Can Kill You," or the Decembrists "Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas)," or the Diamond Rugs "Christmas in a Chinese Restaurant" or Sufjan Steven, "Get Behind Me, Santa!" Please Jesus, no more obvious corporate Christmas songs. Please have mercy and allow your holy and most beautiful birthday to be INTERESTING and not boring, boring, boring.