I took a call today and happened to lean against a building. I happened to look across the street and see you staring at me, holding a paint roller. I didn’t think much about it, and I went on my way. After a while, I noticed that people were giving me the eye. Hmmm... Strange. Later I pass back by the place I took the call. There is painter guy, contemplating the very wall that I was leaning against earlier. Hmm… Strange. Ignorance is bliss right? Then, after about the 20th person gave me a look, I decided well maybe I should have a look about myself. Yeah, paint all over my jacket. My nice jacket. The only one I have that was a very expensive gift from my wife. It all falls into place now. Thanks painter guy. Thanks for not taking the time to put up a "wet paint" sign or caution tape. Great job fucker. I spent 2 hours of my birthday in a futile effort of trying dish soap, then isopropyl alcohol, then on to acetone. That was some really good paint because its not coming out of my fucking jacket you lazy piece of shit. I took it to the dry cleaners. They said they are doubtful they can fix it. And to all the assholes who are going to lecture me about being entitled, privileged, blah blah fucking blah, yes I took the time today to appreciate the fact that I have a wife that loves me and bought me a nice jacket. I know there are homeless people out there who don't have a coat. So, that is what I thought of today when I wanted to drive back to painter guy and beat him senseless with his paint roller.
Lazy fuckhead painter guy
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.