We used to sit side by side or near each other in class. I thought you were cute, in a Jesus looking way. You know, beard, long hair, typical Portland hipster. Although typical Portland hipster lacks any clarification. So does hipster. And I'm lame for using these lazy terms. Just imagine Jesus. You were at least nice, friendly, and polite, all the more attractive, whatever your motives. Then one day you sat in front of me. You had your longish hair not quite long enough for a pony tail but also not short for a nubbin. Then you started tugging and stroking that thing relentlessly. For perhaps 30 min. You would kinda turn to the side a little as if it felt good. I couldn't imagine all the hair falling on the floor or your shoulders then sure enough, a pile on the floor. What were you trying to achieve? Was your hair still wet so you were trying to dry it? It all seemed so pointless and very distracting as does most obsessive behavior does. Very annoying to witness. It sealed a deal to me that your vanity was not for me. You probably spend more time looking in the mirror than I do. The biggest turn off was knowing you play guitar. I just picture a Fabio commercial as you play to little teen girls melting their hearts and what's more you're confident thats exactly what you're doing.
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