But HOW ELSE will we know that they're better than us?

Hey, they're doing their part by using as much gas as possible and paying the 10 cent a gallon gas tax.

I'm sure they have a nice, narrow tailpipe that functions at a reasonable volume, too. Oh, and they definitely bought that truck for hauling more than the annual Christmas tree.

"Nuh uh! You're just jealous!" is a grade school playground non-argument. I'm not jealous of people who pay tens of thousands of dollars for the express purpose of being an angry pigheaded road hazard. The drivers of these monstrosities aren't hauling anything but their massive insecurities.

Short people syndrome?

I've never understood how people driving around in huge vehicles don't feel like assholes 100% of the time. Then I realized, they ARE assholes and they just don't care! Why would people be jealous of people like that? I live here on the coast and there are enormous vehicles littering the roadsides with FOR SALE signs on them because the assholes who bought them can't afford to put gas in them. And they think they'll get some other asshole to buy their gas guzzling enormous monstrosity from them. People are stupid. Be happy you're not a stupid asshole and live your life.

I'd be glad to give up my truck for a cute, little car, but I can't find a way to fit two yards of manure or soil into the trunk or tow a stock trailer with a car.

@10 You seem convinced that everyone thinks the same way you do. The jealousy and judgemental problems are yours and you are projecting it onto others. Ignorance does not equal happiness and plenty of people are capable of understanding and accepting that people make different choices while at the same time understanding how some choices cause harm (to other people, to the planet, etc.)

@9 For the one time a year you're going to need two yards of soil or manure, rent a truck.

@8 Sports cars? In Portland? Beyond the one guy in the yellow Lambo, I don't recognize "sports cars" as really being a thing here. The BeaverBoro retirees in Corvettes and seniors in their "island car" Miatas aren't exactly braving the tunnel. Also, your F-150 gets the same mileage on the highway as a Subaru does in the city (at double the price), but sure... use the one time a year you have to move something as an excuse for an empty bed and crap mileage the extra 360 days of the year.

@13 LOL! Pony cars are level with luxury vehicles now? And we're going to put a shitty Honda hatch with an open tailpipe on par with a V8? OK, pal. P.S. Again, your F-150 gets the same mileage on the highway as a Forester does in the city. The only way it cost the same amount is if you bought the pickup used. Besides, we had a little program for getting those '90s cars off the road: Cash for clunkers. It got most of them, but I'm not surprised that one in five Oregon Tavern Age individuals still drives one.

@12: I'm an organic grower dimbulb. Manure is my life. I also heat with wood. Try getting out of your urban bubble for a bit. There is so much you don't know about life beyond the urban development boundaries.

@15 What you don't see is me making a wanking motion in your general direction. If you're beyond the urban growth boundary, why are you coming into Portland with a lift-kit F-250. Have you heard of Coastal? Wilco? Best Buy in Town? If you have to come all the way into town on city streets, I don't see why you need more manure: Sounds like you're a fairly shit farmer as it is.

@16 It's everybody's business what the fuck people drive. It's what took Pintos and Explorers off the road, bub. If vehicles endanger the public health or safety, then they deserve scrutiny. Considering a lift-kit F-series completely ignores pedestrian safety and encourages drivers not to look at or consider pedestrians at all, there's a strong argument for them being eliminated from urban roads altogether. You want to get some SUVs out the mix too? Please, by all means. SUVs began their lives as capped pickups and should still be treated as such. If everyone was driving around a family of four in them with full complements of gear, that would be one thing. But single-occupant SUVs that may never haul more than some camping equipment or the occasional end table should come out of circulation. They have the highest demand, but market demand, environmental health, and human safety have rarely aligned.

@18 I understand your dire need for water, as your arguments don't hold any.

Hi Doug, obviously I'm under no obligation to explain to you why I come to Portland. Even so, let me point out that Portland is definitely a nice place to visit-- some jazz, some sushi, a stroll through the saturday market-- although not somewhere I would choose to live. Btw my truck is not a jacked up f 250, just a very vanilla f 150. Also, do you have a job or anything to keep you busy?

"but I can't find a way to fit two yards of manure or soil into the trunk"

It's easy. Get a car with one of those slowly-closing trunks
they work just like a trash compactor and you should be able
to get at least three or four yards back there. It may sit a little low
(at the back) but if you gently tap the brakes, the front wheels should
come down long enough for you to make (most of) your turns. Good luck!

Oh, and it's best to use the automatic (remote) trunk unlock.
And I wouldn't stand right behind it, not at first.
And then, just Rinse it out!