You know the one, they say it happened last in 1710 or so, "ol big shakey" as I've named it, now I should preface this by saying I am *not* an earthquake expert but here's how I'm preparing:

1. I no longer sleep naked: imagine the whole city vibrating like some mad 80's battery powered hockey game, I refuse to partake in that sort of hell ride while naked, no thank you. I sleep clothed for this reason, as should you.

2. Getting on the earth's good side: right now just mostly looking at trees and nodding in approval towards them and feeding peanuts to crows so mother nature knows i can vibe with her. Also speaking with mother nature through a device my friend made from crystal skulls and brine soaked in "holy oils", asking her questions like "will you create a forcefield around me protecting me from negative energy and boulders?". No answer. Just a faint howling like a seashell.