If any comedian knew who was writing this it would be instantly rejected.

LOL!

With that said, how come I keep hearing about these microscopic wooden chips located in Kraft Parmesan? I don't wanna put no wood in my spaghetti... but I've been doing it for so long... maybe I like the taste of wood? I don't know no mo. Please help

Also I've been having relations with my brothers ex for over a year. Its a secret, so don't tell! But what should I do? if we never have a relationship I don't think there will ever be a reason to tell him. But should I just tell him anyway? Or never tell him? Please help.