Spit Take

Comments

1

Don't lick the ground, I guess

2

But not all them teenise-weensie lil viri spoors hit the ground.

That's where having the Acme 3-D Imager, the Pandemic Specialâ„¢ comes in Handy. Conjure up a Rotty/Pitti mix (the cheetah's real nice, too), say Sic 'Em! and watch said thoughtless runner break The World's Record for the 880-yard dash... All in good clean fun, of course. 'Cept for his bikey trous.

Getchyurs TODAY.
Say, we got Tasers, too!

3

Unfuckingreal.

Just before the bars closed, but still when covid was very much here, this drinking buddy walked up from behind, blew her nose literally one foot from my face, then grabbed me by one cheek and kissed me on the other to say goodbye. I was too stunned to say anything, partly because she's ridiculously hot but mostly because WTF!! But I later wished I'd said, "Bitch just NO. Ain't nobody that cute!"