I have some awesome news about my vagina that I unfortunately need to anonymously report. My roastbeef dangling vagina, ravaged from having several children and from surviving sexual assault, has officially been surgically repaired. Its called vaginoplasty, which tightens the vaginal wall muscles, and labiaplasty, which makes the outer lips smaller.
Just thought I'd share, i have a pristine new vagina! Yay!