Hey security guard at a local pot dispensary: you're a creep and your tattoos look dumb as hell. You leer at women and make the men they come in with want to punch you in your fat face. I know people used to pick on you in school, so you covered yourself with stick-and-pokes and patches of shitty bands to try and formulate an identity that seemed "tough." Too bad you're pushing 40 by the looks of it and can barely fit on the stool they give you to sit on. I know you're miserable about your station in life, but don't take it out on people who are happier than you. Maybe try 6-8 glasses of water a day and regular exercise? Cheers, Chachi!
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.