I've survived alot and have used my own mental clarity to emotionally survive significant trauma and loss over my entire life.
At the beginning of these shutdowns, I convinced myself that I am very strong and can push though. But I can't anymore.
There I now just a constant blanket of darkness and grey and sadness.
I miss even strangers id see on the bus.
I miss going to school, I miss taking my children to headstart, I miss going to work.
I miss having hope that I could make it and prove I wasn't a statistic.
My heart hurts alot now.
All I had for network and support were agencies that provided services. Services we were utilizing to get up the latter of poverty, slowly.
My family support was the school system. Thats all K had. Now I have no one.
I wouldn't wish this sort of loneliness on anyone. Not even those I dislike.
If you have friends or family, count yourself blessed.
I wish I had the same.