Look, you started your PhD in 2006, and shit still isn’t done. Your advisor is CLEARLY not supportive. And let’s be real, even if you get elected mayor, none of that is going to change.

Listen, it’s hard to admit that things didn’t work out the way we’d hoped. Gatekeepers are gonna gatekeep. But guess what?! Nobody really cares if you finish your PhD. We care if you can face the facts and move on. Just say you dropped out, and we will respect you more and maybe even vote for you.

Let’s get some context : the data are not great around this topic because Universities can’t be accountable for shit. Less than 2 percent of the US population holds a doctorate. It’s not a requirement for any job aside from advising PhD students. (Girl we both know it’s a pyramid scheme). And of the people who start a PhD, fewer than half finish it. (And from my anecdotal data, that half who never finish are disproportionately women with children). Besides, I fucking cringe every time someone with a PhD calls themself “Doctor”.

So fucking say you dropped out! It will be the most relatable thing you’ve done.