that was then. i love portland. lived all over the US and settled here. my favorite thing is just getting into a fascinating conversation with a stranger. any stranger, except the ones already in an argument with their imaginary enemy. but it's been a year that i've been shut in. i'm a natural recluse (except for strangers) so if this is hard for me, i can't imagine how devastating it is for extroverts.

my grief overwhelms, watching people fall apart and i am helpless. the older members of my personal family keep attacking me, in some bizarro power struggle. who cares? everyone is having things we love taken away. can we pour in some ammonia and beer and turn this sh!t into compost? compost for some new growth?