In a stunning discovery, the Oregon Health Authority has unveiled a new advancement in computer technology. They're calling it the "Priority Queue". People go to a website, sign up, then are given a call when it's their turn.

After more than a year of time to prepare and come up with this workable and revolutionary technology system, OHA Director Pat Allen and Governor Kate Brown expressed disappointment they the would no longer be able to enjoy the Elderly Thunder Dome they had created with their original rollout.

Oregonians continue to be indifferent towards a Democratic party that is passively trying to kill them and a Republic party that is actively trying to kill them.