I once had a roommate who left a potroast in the fridge for 2 months, then on the counter for 2, and then it mysteriously disappeared. Led to a good couple of years of letters from "the roast" to my other (much tidier) roommate as it journeyed the earth.

Don’t tell us, tell your scumbag roommate.

"I’m gonna start microwaving some fish.
Then we can have a talk about rules."

Rules are for Suckers.*

see: our Highways
scofflaws and
"accidents."

*also a type of fish
who prefer NOT
be microwaved