My SO and I have had a long distance, committed relationship for over a decade. I recently traveled to the NW for his 70th birthday. Aside from spending thousands of dollars to be there and buy gifts, I gave up my vacation time to be present for what would have been a special time. His clan (4 grown daughters and four married siblings) were all planning a giant party for about 80 of his best friends & family. His sister then arranged a dinner for the siblings only to which I was invited. Little did I know that this was part of a clan-wide plan to exclude me from the "real" party because 2 of the daughters think I broke up the SO's marriage (which isn't true). The dinner invite was just a thrown bone. I only found all of this out by accident at the last moment. None of the daughters or siblings have exactly lived blameless lives, particularly if viewed from their religious perspective, and the grown daughters still soak the SO for money. The siblings all have troubled marriages or have had affairs. One of them constantly cheats on his wife, yet was invited. Of course, all of this hypocritical clan claims to be christian. I left the SO's home in anger and haven't been back. Now I'm the evil witch for refusing to accept the "plan" and for being angry. Is this bunch of people absolutely insane or what? Who does this? I really don't care if these folks hate me at this point, but most civilized people can at least pretend to be civil on these occasions. I'm not sure how many bdays the SO has left given his health, I would have like to have been there. But birthdays are ruined for me now.