Wow.
Loads to unpack here (pun intended)

Let’s pretend you are new here. In that case, you might want to find a trusted friend or therapist to talk about these issues with before projecting your shallowest thoughts on a public forum.

It’s not uncommon for humans experiencing impotence and sexual frustration to project and redirect those feelings of inadequacy upon those close to them, those they’ve experienced some level of imtimacy with, and/or those they feel have leveraged unjust power over them.

No one is saying you didn’t dip your dick in crazy, I’m just saying maybe talk to a couple doctors before not so subtly accusing the woman of being a witch who hexed your cock.

Obviously, you feel betrayed, you feel abused. You feel uncomfortable with the level of love and intimacy shared with you. You feel overly criticized and that your own actions have been misjudged and misunderstood. You feel shy. You feel guilty.

You feel the ability to recognize and apologize for “bad” behavior is not enough.

You are uncomfortable with these changes happening without your control or consent. You feel scared.

You are seeking some type of accounting of your experienced reality to be publicly represented in our shared world.

You deserve to be taken care of. You deserve to be tended to. You deserve kindness and thoughtfulness. You deserve love.

Give yourself some opportunities to relax, maybe even take up a new hobby… I’d suggest needlework. lol.

Go talk to some doctors, you are going to be okay. Things aren’t really as hard as you are trying to make them.

Psych0, what an intuitive response, I hope you didn't take too long writing it. To sum up the OP: abusive person = boner killer, no matter how attractive they are. Its obvious. Chances are the writer is over the age of 35. Younger than that dudes don't care.

You seem young. Unsure what experience you are drawing from, I’d say it’s more about maturity than age. the less mature are much more likely to freak out when they feel impotent, the sudden loss of “perceived power” can be extremely traumatic for them. More emotionally experienced (cisgendered) men are more likely to accept this change within themselves, (be able to afford to) consult with doctors, and process things internally rather than engage in potential psycho-physiological projection.

The time period mentioned is also worthy of note. Consider the narrative landscape of relationship intimacy between someone you consider a crush and someone you consider psychological abusive enough to render your sexual organs inert. Consider the dynamics of power transfer involved in such a narrative and what the velocity of that dynamic may indicate of each partner.

Also consider the behaviors mentioned, the “woman” is indicated to have some measure of self awareness, is described as apologetic of unmentioned (implied abusive) behaviors. While the “man”, publicly admits to impotence, admits attraction to “woman”, recognizes “woman’s” acts of kindness, and admits being “caught under a spell” for a weak. The use of “I don’t think”, “bad attitude”, and “justify abusive behavior” are also tells.

The writer is attempting to reassert an understanding of power over theirself and their body after feeling another asserted control over their body, mind, and (let’s say) heart without their consent.

The writer feels betrayed by the “woman” as well as their self. The writer can recognize a feeling of betrayal but are having difficulty processing and resolving it internally.

Just because we can’t tell what parts of the writer’s story are factual, doesn’t we we can’t tell what’s on her mind.

Great kid, don’t get cocky.

Is that it? What can I say, I’m underwhelmed…