I feel so lost and dumbfounded. I look around and I don't understand anyone's behavior. What is it that we value in our society? We've placed greed and narcissism on a pedestal to be admired. We've attacked and degraded those who've risked their lives and their sanity so our democracy can survive.

That's something I am struggling with to wrap my brain around, it's not just indifference to democracy, it's not lethargy or apathy. It's not a lack of knowledge or awareness. It's that we actively take measures to punish and penalize individuals who stand up in defense of our democratic values, especially when it threatens the agenda of private interests who've paid premiums to lobbyists for access to politicians.

I know we thought we were doing the right thing. I know we thought we were standing up for justice. But it's clear we've been fooled in so many ways. And I don't know what to do.

I feel so lost. I feel so guilty. How can I help us get out of this mess? How can I fix my past mistakes? How can I stop having these nightmares?

Why didn't we speak up when it happened? Why can't we speak up now?