I love you and I want you. In my own fucked up, broken way, I love you. But I can never give you what you want because it would shatter the other parts of my life.
You love me; I am your person. I get that, and wish it could be different. But it can't: my wife, my family, all pull on me and trap me in the place I am.

I wish that I could fuck you, again. But I can't; it would destroy the friendship that we've established. But every time we get our friendship to a point where I'm comfortable, you want more. I can't give you more.

I don't regret what happened; we did nothing wrong except catch feelings. So I want you to know that, in my own fucked up, broken way, I love you and will be friends - if you can. But I cannot, and will never be able to, give you want you want.