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I, Anonymous Blog

The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.

Laundry PSA

In my life of co-living and Laundromats, I have shared many laundry spaces. Today I waited a little longer than usual to grab my dry goods. "No big deal" in my mind, and assume my faux pas means less due to everyone not working or being retired largely in this zone. Maybe a half hour late and I walk in to see a topless man folding my laundry - folding it, bare hands, laundry, topless. He proceeds to ask me my name and my unit as I try not to just run away. It is one thing to move it to the side, or top of the machine, or whatever surface - folding is not caring, and laundry is a sensitive subject matter, old topless stranger manhandling my goods. Get your mitts off my knits - no shirt no lip service!

To the guy who harassed me in line at Tiny's

You, cis, white, entitled male were rude and abusive to the staff at Tiny's and you harassed complete strangers in line. Tall, white, light brown afro, pot belly and a dirty black Checkerboard Pizza T-shirt. Despite the fact that you say you work at a restaurant (yikes hope it's not Checkerboard) your time isn't more valuable than others. You are not entitled to the first spot in line. I appreciate Tiny's for offering complimentary coffee to the people who had to suffer this complete asshole's harassment this am. And if you run a local restaurant, do check your staff as they're behavior in and out of house is a direct reflection of you.

Now a Mandate, NOT!

You know how many folks aren't wearing masks. All up and around Trimet. Walking by the park, it's like party central and mask free, kids running a muck. There was a guy at the grocery store at the entrance reminding folks about masks, but you know what, on the inside some folks gallavanting around in daisies and lavender field, maskless, yet must go shopping. It's all leisure business now with absolutely no business in public but for being bored at home. I mean, what gives? It seems essentially a topic of function versus aesthetics. So some folks won't wear them because they don't think they can help reduce transmission? Well, you wear jackets for cold and rain. You wear hats and sunglasses for shade. I mean, you wear clothes, you get a tattoo, you have certain facial hair. But this becomes a vanity for most of these folks that refuse to wear them. So then masks ties into aesthetics so get your favorite sports team or some skull, or meme statement mask. If it's a breathing issue, the mask can be taken off when appropriate. It's this simple gesture of not wearing masks that proves to me time and time again that humanity sucks. We are not in this together. It's purely a selfish, ignorant, and unjust reason to ignore the mask. You don't have them? Well, Trimet is providing thousands of them daily that are being littered all over the streets sometimes without being worn. I mean, I don't whether to be disgusted, angry, or indifferent. No shirt, no shoes, no service!

Fighting for the wrong things

we've been directing our energy as a society toward the wrong things for the past ten years. Recently, or more before covid, we had a push for UBI. Why not instead of pushing for UBI, just backpack onto AOC's green new deal? You know, the deal that places an emphasis on accessible affordable housing for all? I think an aspect of UBI is also in the green new deal, but my imediate concern is just that we all need housing in America. For families who are able to afford paying market rate rent or a mortgage, good for you, but we need to ensure the most vulnerable of our society has stable affordable housing. Some families cant even afford a studio apartment rent rate, and really, the only housing safety net we have is public housing or section 8, which isn't offered to everyone who needs it. I believe everyone deserves a roof over thier head.

HB 4212 Eviction Relief

I understand that renters need protections from unfair evictions. I realize that we ALL have to take on some of the burden caused by Covid 19. However, allowing renters to remain rent-free, with no obligation to repay through September, and then to give until March 31st of 2021 to repay is the first shot fired in a war that will pit property rights vs. community rights. Why not require of renters some small gesture of good faith, even a minimum amount due that is reasonable? As a modest property owner, I can't possibly be expected to pay a mortgage without rental income. I can't pay for repairs without cash flow. This policy will result in lower standards of quality due to the lack of secure income or predictable income, with higher more stringent application requirements. It also provides more fuel for conservatives to attack the left.

Grab my hammer

you are so full of yourself to think that the reason we aren’t friends is because you had beef and blocked me. I unfollowed you because I didn’t want to see y’all plastering my feed with pics of my manipulative ex. your social media presence is so important to you, that you texted me first thing in the morning asking if I had unfollowed you. I explained why, but you threw a tantrum and peaced out.
I then deleted all of my social media accounts. I had enough distance from the ex and my feelings about everything that I reached out, wondering if we were cool. you responded by saying maybe the fact that I messaged someone from a different account after they block me is the reason people don’t like me.
I shouldn’t be surprised that you assumed that I had wronged you, but, you never blocked me I unfollowed you.
I don’t know why I tried to open that door, I definitely nailed it shut for a reason.

Not so human after all

I always challenged others to see just how far thier breaking point was. I wanted to see how much they really meant when they said they cared.
After years of stretching peoples will, I have found that everyone has a breaking point, but also that everyone is a hypocrite.
One person may be a bleeding heart activist for the environment, while at the same time they call poverty level families leeches to the system.
Some people claim to care about the disadvantaged but at the end of thd day they will always put themselves before others.
Some people cannot even see thier own privileges. Those people also stomp on the less fortunate, they mock them for thier misfortunes..
So whenever I see my fellow humans today, I know deep down inside they are truly cold and uncaring beings spreading a false image of empathy. It holds no true weight because its all an act. Fake. You are all fake.

There is a Whole Other World Out There

I set one piece of cardboard to the side of the cardboard crusher. I don't really know why. I guess because there was some other dude crushing his cardboard.
He just about finished up and as he saw me put the cardboard there said, "is there a reason you're putting that there?"
I mumbled something.
He then said, "wait do you work here?" We have never seen each other. But why is it always some overweight white dude that feels like they can talk to you in a condescending manner. No one else there would said this crap. I could even see other coworkers just putting it in the crusher and never saying a stupid word about it.
So then I said, "I left it to the homeless people." Complete wisecrack because I already know this guy. He said, "better not." I said, "it's a reality man." He said, "not around here." This is in Clackamas. I work in downtown so I know.
It's true, people have this stereotypical thinking towards homeless, towards downtown, and towards these protests. This was only Clackamas, but you get out into Damascus, Estacada, Sandy, Canby, Newberg, McMinneville, and even more rural areas and I will guarantee you, not one of them support the movements happening, or have ever even walked with a protest.
There you have it, Portland is a small population of Oregon, and the rest is on a different page.

The Pioneer

I don't see it coming down, because it's a little too close to home for Oregonians and yet too far for anyone that moved here in the last 10 years. It is a symbol of our own complicity, not some war general. We, some of us descendants, are here because of the "free" land and no Black people(plus Natives). It probably should come down.

Good For You

You are the Karen of all fucking Karens. Too, bad you spit so much when you talk or someone might actually take you seriously.

To the people who have said ACAB

I hate to break it to you, cuz I know how good it feels to dunk your glorious moral superiority on an entire group of people, but you're guilty of the same shit you're ostensibly protesting against: basic af prejudicial thinking.

On behalf of everyone who gets judged based on how they look, who they fuck, where they live, what their job is, or some other singular aspect of their being: please stay home from the next protest and do the work that you demand of the police state. Examine how your own prejudicial habits and attitudes are harmful and divisive. Consider that the solution to systemic racism and equality is surely not advanced through more narrow minded stereotyping.

We are all in this together.


Earlier today, when we were talking, i felt a lump on my lower back.
After touching it discretely, I realized it was a ripe-n-ready zit.
You continued to talk as i lifted the back of my shirt a little and gave it a squeeze.
Instant relief! Our conversation ended and as we walked away, I glanced back and saw my little buddy on your filing cabinet. I felt bad but I want ready for such a big honker like that so hopefully it dries up before you notice

Nancy Drew and the Too-Big Poo

So much trouble sleeping these days, but last night, couldn't stop wondering how the large poos are getting into my fully fenced back yard. I have 2 small dogs that would lose their shit if another dog invaded their yard. Granted, I've found only 2 instances, but I cannot fathom how. Especially because the first occurrence happened when the gates were padlocked.

Don’t kill my wife

You’re all cowards and egomaniacs. You couldn’t suck it up and just stay home for a few measly weeks when there were hardly any infections, a time when just being mindful and cautious could have wiped out Covid-19. Now that we’re breaking our own records for daily infections and hospitalizations you’re all excited to get your hair styled and work out and drink beer. I’m frightened for my immunodeficient wife’s safety, you motherfuckers, but you’re too eager to go shopping to care.

Pandemics Rings True to Social Distance

One thing for sure, this whole lock down made it apparent what "friends" I have.
Without certain leisure hang outs keeping us together, there is no relationship there.
No texts. No calls.
By the way, no one answers their phone. No one answers when I call at least.
It's better we get this all out of the way now so I know who to call when I need a helping hand, someone to talk to, or when I die.