Hi. You're the male stripper that feels like it's cool or funny (or both) to stick your semi-turgid wiener through a dye-cut children's book. Sure, it is kind of funny. If you do it once. Maybe even twice (if there is a week or two between your sets). BUT FIVE TIMES A NIGHT? Really? REALLY? Not only is it kind of gross that it's a children's book, it's even MORE disgusting that it's the SAME book that you have been using for probably a year or so. NIGHTLY. So your big ol' semi-hard lubed-up crabby wingding has been dripping, seeping, and leaking (amongst other things) onto and into the pages of this cardboard book NIGHTLY. Surely within the three to nine hours a day you spend flexing your junk-stick in front of a mirror you could find enough inspiration for a new act. More so, the smarmy grimace you flaunt while performing this act (often amid boos, hisses, and small change being thrown at you) is even more pathetic. The stripper groupies are onto you, and we say that book's been read cover to cover.—Anonymous