So you're smugly "car-free," you say? Not "car-less," I noticed. What's that? Could I pick you up on the way downtown? Suuuuurrrre. You want to hitch a ride to Trader Joe's? I guess. The first time, I was happy to oblige, but it is getting old. And it kind of flies in the face of being car-less—I mean car-free—doesn't it? Hey, gears-for-brains, did you know that an innocent little trip down to Fox Tower for a movie costs me about $5 in gas, maintenance, and depreciation? Sauvie Island? About $15. That is why the IRS pays $0.505 per mile on vehicle use. As should you. Also tiresome are the car-less faux friends who take a sudden interest in being a Gorge hiking buddy come Saturday. I guess that Zipcar is a bit rich, isn't it? Oh right, that would be because it is a car. And cars cost money, cheapskate! Pay up!—Anonymous