I, Anonymous Sep 23, 2010 at 4:00 am

It's Not Me, It's You

Comments

1
This is just sad and pathetic. Oh, buddy.
2
What a butt-hurt ass-clown. Sounds like some douche's attempts at being a "nice guy" got kaboshed. Boo-fucking-hoo.

Grow a pair.
3
Sorry, anonymous. It probably is you. It is a sad fact of dating that you, as the man, have to make all the first moves. This means you're going to get rejected a lot, and you will have to learn to be more resilient if you want to find a great woman. There are also skills you can learn that will give you a chance to create chemistry with some of these women. At least you've discovered that being a nice guy isn't one of them. I'd encourage you to try some of the ideas you mention in your letter, but without the anger.

Oh, and all you beautiful Portland women. I'll probably be asking you out soon. If you are not interested, do me a favor and just say "no, but thanks." Saves my dignity and time, and I really respect you for being direct.
4
Anonymous, bitter that only your hand will touch you?
5
this is the ranting of a young man who is angry that he can't get laid. shave off the beard, shower daily, catch up on current world events, stop assuming that you know what women want and listen to what they are saying.
6
Casanolife..... Don't give away your Vaseline.
You have a few holes in your new seduction strategy. You have to actually find someone who will fuck you before you can "not spend the night with them", and you must get a date before you can show up stoned three hours late for it. Some women do want to date assholes, some like the mysterious type, but no women want to date idiots like you. The chemistry line is merely another way of saying "I never want to see you again and I wish I could go back in time and redeem the nanosecond I wasted between meeting you and hitting the dating gong"

Thanks for making me realize that the eight mins I spent studying high school psych was not a complete punt. Even with the considerable data lost dredging it out of long term memory (very fucking long) , I still had more than enough material to diagnose you as a sniveling loser who is out of touch with reality attempting to transfer your self hatred, low self esteem, inability to attain anything even remotely resembling a single quality attractive to women, and most likely a severe case of smallcox.... onto women who won't date you (.....yeah, that includes sheep.)



7
Ever notice how the self-proclaimed "nice guys" turn out to be raging misogynist a-holes at the first sign of rejection? Yes, Anonymous, it's them, not you. It's every woman in the world. Because you know exactly what women want, and need, and they can't even articulate their dislike for you.

Oh, wait. They did.
8
So it's unanimous, then?
9
This is why I started dating girls. PDX men of substance who aren't douche bags are little cry baby bitches. Cheer up, buttercup.
10
Wow, everyone's going all armchair-shrink on this dude, but isn't the point of this column usually to be abrasive and over-the-top? Sure, it reads like he's a loser who can't get laid so he lashes out on all women in Portland, but who hasn't (irrationally) felt like "all men" or "all women" are some way after being rejected or a relationship goes sour?

I've read no less than three I, Anonymous columns from women that basically say: "Attention, Portland men: I am hanging out with you because I want you to fuck me. Grow some balls." This is basically the male equivalent to that (except this one is borderline misogynist).

Maybe he's new to town and lonely, and feels like no one's giving him the time of day. That's pretty valid in a new town, no?
11
Dude, WOW! Like, Nail. On. The. Head, bro! Nail on the head, say - since we're at it i'd like to add in my own advice for aspiring wanna-be-assholes and/or jerks in this town:

1. Stop shaving. For like, a month perhapes. Maintain that scuffy unkempt look.

2. STOP using deoderant. Clearly, there's something about smelling like musty ass that's like pheromones to Portland women. Besides, deorderant has like, chemicals 'n stuff in it & that's a BIG turnoff to these hairy dready Earth broads.

3. Infact, basically stop taking care of yourself altogether. Stop washing & combing your hair. Learn to cultivate that nasty "dis-shoveled crows' nest" look. Or, if you don't have the patience, you can simply go to Bishops & look like that in an hour.

4. Just don't bath, all together. The only areas to wash are your mouth (for sloppy tongue-sexing), your fuck parts, & your greasy ass. Other than those 3 spots, don't bath. Portland broads will think you're some sort of rube.

Don't smoke? Start. American Spirits prefered (b/c they're GOOD for you & natural).

If you have an actual full-time job, DO NOT mention this! Never let on to Portland women that you have a real job, b/c that implys that you're like, responsible 'n shit. Plus, if you're capable of showing up at a destenation ON TIME every day, Hell, you just might be likely to show up to a date on time! Big no-no! She'll take you for some sort of dork & you will NOT get laid.

5. That doesn't mean that being without a job will get you any, either - b/c chicks LOVE money. Just ACT like you're a broke-ass leech. Ask to borrow money from her, even though you don't need it. Then, DON'T pay it back. That way, the stupid bitch will have a reason to keep coming back. Tell her that you've got a trust fund, or something.

6. Start wearing cheap clothes that look like they're expensive, but really aren't.

7. This may take some real effort, but try & get an apprenticeship as a tattooist. Know how to play anything? Start a band. however shitty, it matters not. If you can become a tattoo artist or play in a band, you'll get to fuck strippers bro! Trust me! And the best part is, you get to treat 'em like total shit & they'll simply come back for more! Damaged women LOVE being abused. It's been scientifically proven.
12
"Grow a pair, pussy" or "Please stop hitting on me, Greasy rocker dude". I guess the magic is to find a balance b/t the two?
13
News Flash: Many women like guys who are pricks. Shocking really.....
14
Let's not forget what everybody already knows: women get all hot and bothered over indifferent, abusive "bad boy" types (they're genetically programmed to be gullible like that). My prediction: this guy is on his way to becoming a big time pimp playa. And most importantly, Anonymous: don't let the haters get you down!
15
I'm pretty sure intelligent, self-aware women (is that who you're going after?) like dudes who don't turn against a whole gender and INTO whiny victims because they're having a hard time finding someone. Sounds like you're ALREADY a weenis, so according to yer logic, you'll be getting laid in a jif.
16
Guys that think girls only want to date bad boys/assholes are just hurt little kittens that got their egos bruised by a girl they liked that didn't like them back. We all deal with rejection at one time or another. A good measure of character is how you deal with it. so buddy you got a LONG way to go....
17
You are a scary, scary boy. I would feel sorry for you, but that last sentence was horribly misogynistic....actually....the whole thing is.
18
Ha, I think I read this on Craigslist a few months back.
19
so true
20
I would hate-fuck him (I have some anger issues of my own to work out) but he'd probably complain about it.

I would also add that various types of assholes Portland women find attractive are indie-music snobs, fixie riders and guys with small dogs.
21
I'm betting he just had a bad day. Or maybe a few bad days. Isn't the point of I, Anonymous to be over-the-top irrational? If he actually followed through on any of this, I'd be very surprised.

We all get hurt, and we all get irrationally upset sometimes. Goodonya, Anon, for not actually taking it out on any women so far. If you keep this bottled up and sort through it, something good is gonna happen. I promise.
22
DamosA, etc: Know why we like boys who are in bands? Because being in a band is AWESOME. Especially if you're in a band too! Then you can talk about music together. Being bitter is the worst thing you can do for yourself and your sex life. Would you want to hear us go on and on about how men only like women with six-pack abs? (Which, like every part of your little rant, is untrue). "There's no chemistry" just means there's no chemistry, duh. If you hear it over and over again it means you're not stereotypically sexy, which means you'll have to work double time to be funny and interesting. Big deal. Everyone has to constantly work at being funny, interesting and sexy if they want to get laid, anyway.
23
Actually, Haku, why SHOULD it have to be the man who makes the first move? And why shouldn't the woman, if she's going to say no, at least be expected to be humane about it?
Why should we assume that(in a heterosexual exchange)women have an absolute "right to shoot down in flames"?

We probably wouldn't see anything like "I, Anonymous's post if there was at least a requirement that, if a woman is going to say no(which she has every right to say, of course, and which she has every right to expect to see respected as a final answer)that she at least try to be nice about it and that she, if possible, offer specific reasons as to why the guy who asked wasn't good enough. Giving those reasons(assuming it wasn't just some intangible "bad vibe")would give the guy a chance to correct the problem or problems in question before trying again.

But, as it currently stands, it isn't fair for women to expect men to put themselves out there without those men having any protection against public humiliation.

Finally, there has often been a phenomenon of some women seeming to have a pathological aversion to "nice guys" and an insistence on dating dangerous jerks instead. Can anybody here explain this? Doesn't seem to show much self-preservation instinct among the women who do that, since they're going to get badly hurt by the dangerous jerk, where the nice guy, even if he wasn't quite as "edgy" or "exciting" most likely wouldn't hurt the woman on any level.
24
serious? hasn't every obnoxious dude stand-up comic said this and been ignored already? seems like you already have plenty of shitty issues with women. Right, not every woman you meet wants to marry you, so all women suck, obvious conclusion...
25
Having said all that I just did, for the record I doubt that all or even MOST women in Portland or anywhere else are as horrid as Mr. Anonymous makes them out to be. Just thought there might be some truths in his rant that could be picked out.

Just wondering...ARE there women reading this who have an instinctual aversion to "nice guys"? If so, is there any particular reason? Do you just not trust it when a guy doesn't act like a macho asshole?
26
And, before anyone starts to wonder, in the place where I live, I've found women who could get past the fact that I wasn't an ultra-macho "danger boy" type. Mr. Anonymous, there's still hope that you could find some...somewhere...

I hope that you don't give up.

BTW...is there a REASON that people here are assuming that this guy DESERVED to be shot down by whoever emotionally sucker-punched him? Maybe he just happened to run into a series of women who were all determined to take out their bad day on whichever guy happened to walk by at the moment that he did. You can't just take it on faith that he had all the slamming coming to him.
27
As the original (anonymous) author of this particular I, Anonymous, I thought I would (anonymously) rise to defend myself.

I had a bad day. That about sums it up. I had been rejected a few times, had a couple of one night stands that I wanted to be more than one night stands, and went through a quick procession that went as follows:

A. What's wrong with me?
B. Time for a pity party!
C. I'M MAD AT THE ENTIRE FEMALE GENDER!

This whole process lasted about three days. I'm much better now. Dating is all about putting yourself out there and being rejected. And after some irrational emotions, lessons are learned and you get the guts to put yourself out there again, just as you are.

I'm never actually going to do the things I suggested in this letter. And I think women are pretty cool. I just happened to have an anonymous outlet on a particularly bad day.

So there you have it. An anonymous apology would do about as much good as an anonymous letter, so I won't bother.
28
Well, that's a healthy response. And maybe posting here helped you blow off some rage in a non-dangerous way.
29
sounds like you got served and are still in shock over it
30
Sweet gals are out there...getting a fine mate has nothing to do with treating them bad. Maybe there something off about you, my brother? Are you only attracting the low self-esteem units? The gals that feel more comfortable with something that reminds them of their shitty upbringing? You can step out of this self-afflicted nightmare by meeting sane, grounded women that have actual interests by having some yourself. Learn to weld sculptures, play the french horn, make Bonsai, volunteer ANYWHERE, and turn your back on all this narcissistic flapdoodle. I'd be surprised if you didn't meet a good woman in short order. If that fails, you might consider getting a bit of counceling - at that point you might suspect there is something about YOU that is pulling in the broken ones...
31
You raise a good point: Plenty of people (women AND men) seem to be in relationships with people who treat them like dirt. As a cashier in a downtown-area retail shop, I saw lots of this, and it always saddened me. Low self-esteem is rampant in our culture, and there are a lot of people who don't even know that they deserve better. Maybe they don't like it per se, but it's familiar, they're used to it, and as I said before, they may not know they could be treated any differently.

All that aside, dude, fuck you. I am a woman, born and raised in Portland, and I refuse to put up with disrespectful bullshit from asshats like you. I dump the sorry sons-of-dicks who try to treat me like shit, and I highly resent your implication that "every last one of you" like and expect that kind of behavior from their significant others. Speaking of low self-esteem, you seem to be bursting with it, and this letter comes off as nothing more than a defensive, insecure asshole ramble. Here's a nice idea: Treat people like they are human, with respect and kindness, can the self-obsessed anger, and MAYBE then, someone will like you enough to blow you. Or MASTURBATE, for fuck's sakes. No one is obligated to help you get off, so stop acting like they are and buy yourself a bottle of Astroglide.
32
coldwarcook has the right idea. Don't respond by becoming an asshole. Respond by building yourself. Shave your ironic moustache/beard, and get a hair cut. Try to smell nice, and wear clean clothes, even if you bike.

Then go stay busy. Get some hobbies. Learn to make furniture or whatever. But don't do Hobby X because there might be a cute girl in the class, learn to do Hobby X because you really want to know how to do it. If you make yourself interesting, you will become interesting. (PS: riding a bike, drinking ironic beer, your tattoos, and your amatuer DJ/guitar hobbies are no longer interesting in Portland.)
33
I agree with Haku and it sounds like you are an emotional little twerp anyways when it comes to women. You probably smother them with your nice guy emotions and they inevitably regret sleeping with the guy who stares at them while they sleep, shedding a single tear from what he thinks is the new found love of his life. You don't have to be an asshole who lives by the "treat them like dirt and they'll stick to you like mud" philosophy. Just be confident....Like Haku said, a straight forward "not interested" or "not thanks" would suffice. If you ladies just are in it to win it for a one time all nighter that's great too....just let us know....trust me....I'm sure any guy with a set would be happy to oblige.
34
Y'know, the guy did apologize for over-generalizing...why are people STILL going after him?

He was lashing out after a bad day...and it's better to do something like that in this way(a manner that doesn't actually harm anyone) than it would be for the guy to actually do something dangerous.

And, again, why are people assuming the dude is genuinely repulsive? He could've just run into a series of women who were in a "fuck you, male gender" mood and who chose to take it out on him.

I think we could use this to have a real conversation about some serious gender issues and how they play out in the dating world. Why not try?
35
BTW, in Portland, is an "ironic beard or mustache" automatic rejection bait, these days?
36
Pussy Power knocks em dead everytime.
37
Err correction.Pussy Power knocks them SILLY everytime.[I can't pull out for the life of me]
38
For all you commenters who keep on addressing women in general, "are you really put off by nice guys?", etc, here's one 25-year old lady point of view:
1. NOT scared away by nice guys. A guy made me soup when I was sick recently and I almost proposed marriage on the spot.
2. But it's hopefully possible to be manly and nice at the same time. Actually I know it's possible, cause I've met lots of them. Don't call it a double standard, you want us to be caring and mysterious (and fit and well-dressed, but not hung up on fitness or fashion) at the same time. So if you can carry my amp for me AND cook me soup, that's gold.
3. Beards are still cute, but mustaches are gross.
39
So, the question: why are assholes so packed with chemistry it seems like every girl wants to date only 'bad boys'?

Because confidence is sexy. It's really that simple. An actual sociopath doesn't give a shit what other people think, because they think other people are cowardly little shits only valuable for serving your needs. They're usually smart and funny and interesting, but they're about as deep as a paper bag, and as a whole they are filled with self-hate. They're vain, and they'll make bold moves in bed because they're out to get what they want out of life. They have some range to their standards, which are entirely idiosyncratic, but they're all about feeding their ego. These guys are up in their heads most of the time, but they are masters of masking their thoughts, and hijacking mental processes to get what they want.

Normal hot guys are just confident of their awesomeness and act accordingly. They don't really care if someone doesn't like them because their self-confidence comes from within, and so they don't try too hard, they can be effortlessly funny, and they focus the vast majority of their time on doing the really cool shit that legitimately makes them awesome. They know they're sexy, and they make bold moves because it's fun and exciting and because they judge their partner to be pretty fucking awesome, according to how well they click. These guys are not up in their heads when they're talking to women. If they put effort into working out they're probably like catnip to women, and will probably have really high standards. But even the doughy and short ones will have really cool girlfriends.

Do you see how similar these are? Obviously after a while it'll become clear which guys are fuckin douchebags and which ones are actually amazingly cool, but in the first few dates, telling the difference is some master class shit for women, and if they fall for the head games it can be a long time before they get free of it, particularly if they're a bit codependent. But the fact is that without that confidence, most women just don't get turned on in bed enough to bother.

The point to take away from this is not that women want to date assholes. It's that they want to fuck confident men. They're often willing to settle for fucking assholes, but that's NOT what they want, and it's definitely not who they want to date. Women aren't stupid, but in terms of chemistry, they'll take their chances on someone fun and then figure out if he's a raging dick rather than take their chances on someone dull and desperate and try and figure out if he's secretly awesome as hell and just going through a rough patch. Their odds of success are probably about the same, either way, but here's the thing: it's FUN to be around the fun guy. And it's a pain in the ass to ditch the clingy loser.

Also, if you're not actually awesome, and you're not actually an asshole, and you're not great looking and hung, and you try to act like a bad boy to get girls when you're actually a 'nice guy', out of spite or just sheer lack of self-confidence, there is a very special name for you: CREEP. That shit's not gonna work out for you. Girls are really good at spotting that one. Not that it's going to go much better for you acting like a clingy loser around them.

Spend more time on becoming awesome, lower your standards, stop watching porn and tv, work out, get some cool clothes, and to repeat, get awesome at something. Live your life to the fullest and don't fucking worry. You can be short, poor, fat and stupid with a dick the size of your thumb, and still find someone to love you if you focus on being your best self. Might not be until you're 40, and your dreams of dating an underwear model might never come true, but if you invest in yourself, meaningful, mutual love can happen for you.
40
"Everyone has to constantly work at being funny, interesting and sexy if they want to get laid, anyway."

If they're male.
41
HAHAHA..Whew. If I had a nickel for every asshole with this rant..I've also heard " I fucking love you, you dumb bitch!"

Rejection happens, especially when we can smell the jerk on you as clearly as Axe body spray.
42
"3. Beards are still cute, but mustaches are gross."

So guys should go for the Abe Lincoln/Dr. Teeth/Manfred Mann look?

Interesting...
43
Maybe part of the problem is that our collective dating preferences and interests tend toward the idealistic. That is to say, we, both men and women, try to date people who exemplify some sort of ideal standard for us. However, our searching (and presumably failing repeatedly, as in the case of Anon) for someone who not only meets this lofty standard, but also considers US to be a figure likewise worthy of mythologizing, tends to leave us more than a little battered and bruised emotionally. So, we get angry when we don't find someone that meets our unrealistic standards, and we likewise get angry when we inevitably don't meet theirs, either.

So what's left to do but generalize, and seek recourse in antipathy-laden tirades full of categorical denunciations? Was that a banana peel you slipped on? Fine, all bananas are evil, devious pieces of fruit that want nothing more than to destroy you by causing you to fall and break your skull on some pavement. Was it a woman that hurt your feelings? Fine, all women are stupid, shallow, materialistic twats that chase after unattainable and disinterested assholes at the expense of obviously awesome guys like you.

On the one hand, this kind of basic, 5th grade reasoning is deplorable. On the other hand, none of us (yes, that means all of you, too) are completely innocent of falling back on these kinds of categorical statements when frustrated (if not regularly, anyhow) - take any sentence where the subject is plural and the quantity unspecified, and you've got a categorical.

So, maybe we should cut Anon just the littlest bit of slack, huh?
44
Man, you people are ruthless. This guy [who wrote the anon letter] was simply venting after a bad fucking day, which apparently he's NOT entitled to having on occasion. He even responded back - NOT with some "fuck yall" vitriol, but to simply explain himself & to put his rant in a more clarifing context. And even still, over half the respondants after that are all like, "well FUCK this assholecreeploser anyways, HA HA!".

If THIS is the way people actually treat him in real life then little wonder why he [might] have a chip on his shoulder.

Besides, had anyone ever onsidered that there ISN'T someone for everyone? Short of casual meaningless sex, some people are just gonna be by themselves for life.
45
Ah, this old chestnut. Read this: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/nic…
46
While it may be easy to blame the entire opposite sex, try not to let a few bitches ruin you for that one good woman out there that would complete you.


I am a Portland woman who would not trade my loving, faithful, sensitive, modest, hard-working, hard-to-find nice guy for all the machismo in the world.


A loving relationship is hard work and requires a wealth of patience, acceptance, tolerance, humility, trust, self-confidence, and calmness. While your frustration is understandable, in the end, you will find bitterness will only lead you back to loneliness. Keep heart not hate.


47
I know the "nice guy" thing turns me off. Not that I like "treats me like dirt" any better. I want an equal. Not someone who agrees with everything I say. Stand up and challenge me, its fun to mentally spar! But when we are done, I want someone who wont put me down for my perspective, or agree to is just to be nice. I want respect and trust, and that means you can say "no" if you really dont feel like doing _____.


I want an equal. not a push over, not a abuser. Is that too much to ask?
48
Why? WHY would you post a letter from a budding misogynist, warning
all Portland women to prepare for him. In a classic case of "How
Misogyny Happens", this man gets his heart bruised, twists his pain
into rage, and directs it toward ALL women--from now on. He says he's
figured-out that women just love to be treated like crap by men--in
fact, we can't even have "chemistry" with a man unless he hates us.
His first step toward becoming the kind of man we women want is
"learning to hate every f***ing one of you b******."

Mercury, why would you spread this hate-speech around my town?

(I hope you didn't give him free movie tickets for this!)

Leigh Anne Kranz
http://misogynyspotlight.blogspot.com
49
Women, this is why you don't lie to men about why you're not going out with them anymore. When a guy is boring as fuck, stupid, republican, or smells like ass, you can't tell him the chemistry is off. You have to stop with the whole passive aggressive it's not me it's you, or whatever else lame excuses you use.

This guys experiences will probably turn him into the next park rapist.
50
@Derp >>Women, this is why you don't lie to men... This guys experiences will probably turn him into the next park rapist.<<

is it time to play "blame the victim", douche? this creep needs to get counseling to deal with his own short-comings and delusions of oppression. the only thing Women in General need to do is FIGHT BACK.
51
@ LA...

Oh for pete sakes, get a fucking grip! What makes the guy a mysogynist? How does writing a small rant make him or anyone a mysogynist? The guy came back on here to CLARIFY his rant, but i suppose you skipped over that part. A tad bigoted, aren't YOU?
And no, he DIDN'T get free movie tickets for this. But so what if he did? What're you going to do, boycott The Mercury?
52
I dated a nice boy once ( after a series of failed attempts with assholes), he started out a nice guy, even my mom liked him, and by the end of the relationship was the most emotionally abusive mindfuck. I bet Anonymous has shot down quite a few nice girls for greener pastures of girls who aren't interested in him. My point here is, even the Nice are at fault for shooting down the nice, and who cares about type anyway? it's about compatibility and if someone isn't interested, then they plainly aren't interested. Sure it sucks, sure it hurts, but you can make anyone like or love you. Dust yourself off and go fuck someone you don't care about and who doesn't care about you, then get back in the dating scene and find someone who you can relate to, and go from there.
53
In my opinion, this comment and thread is a good example of the relatively ambiguous quality of what women are attracted to. It can be really difficult for guys (me obviously) to figure out, "hey what qualities am I lacking" when you don't get a lot of positive responses from women. I think the reason is that women and people in general do not have a good understanding of what women find attractive, because it's so different than what men like (physical and thus easily identified). What do women like? Some good responses in the comments. I think the qualities are easily as superficial as those men are attracted to in women, they are just much less easily defined and identified. Anyways, sounds like anonymous was too needy and that is a quality that is quite noticeable if you know what it looks like in other people. We tend to be attracted to people who do not project neediness. Anyways, I'd like it if we can find ways to pick each other up and help each other find what works and what doesn't, so there is less pain and frustration going around, which can manifest itself in bad results for everybody.
54
Maybe it IS you.
55
...or maybe...we need to stop searching for partners in life, and focus on ourselves.
56
Weird - I've always done just fine for myself being a genuinely nice person. At least the girls I choose to pursue seem to appreciate that anyway and I really just don't over-think it. Any female who honestly wants the 'asshole' type is probably loaded with childhood issues and baggage anyway, so beware.

Also, it's just a sad fact of our society in general that super f'ing good looking dudes actually can get away with being assholes...it blows...agreed. So if you're not mr hottie, the asshole approach will just make you seem creepy and gross - keep that in mind too ;)
57
I'm a straight female and I have certainly thought things almost exactly like what he wrote while I was dating around. Fuck guys. Fuck girls. Everyone fucking sucks in this city and it's annoying trying to find someone that sucks the least, especially when everyone is too lazy to even try to be nice or charming.
58
Look at it this way- if you are a good person (male or female)dating someone who needs to be treated badly to fall in love- what the hell are you doing pursuing someone with such serious issues?!? Just do what the rest of us do DTMFA, have a pity party with Mr. Daniels (or Mr Beam, or your old Grandad for all I care) and get back out there. BE HAPPY you found out how fucked up they were before you were married to them with a couple kids.
60
Look I understand why you're angry but I want you to understand that women are not turned off because you're not being an asshole and that for some mysterious reason this is what they want. I've heard this argument before and I must admit that I was tempted to believe in it at one point in my life, but the truth is that this is not the answer, this is just another way to make yourself more bitter and self hating. So I will tell you two rules that changed my life, they are basic rules of dating that you must follow if you want to avoid the dud.
Rule 1, never date a girl that doesn't have a job and a car or some means of transportation, school doesn't count unless they are working;
Rule 2, never date a girl that watches more tv than you do, and cut back on the tv time yourself (8pm-10pm 2 days a week max);

These two very simple rules work on a very deep level; first of all a girl that doesn't have a job, has way too much time on her hands to pick and pick and pick at the relationship, in her own head, until it no longer exists; second if you're driving her around places then you're spending too much time together, or if it is too much of a hassle for her to meet you, it all starts to fall apart; third the type of girl that watches too much tv, has chosen that fake world of the tv, where all the dialogue is written by Communications and English majors and read by fictional multimillionaire 24 year olds with rock hard abs and 2 percent body fat...you can't possibly measure up to that, you're just human; also this type of person always seems to think that they are much better looking then they really are so...step back...breath...they are just 2 simple rules, ever since I started using them, I have had nothing but success in finding and dating real women, who have real expectations and who live real lives in the real world. Good luck.
61
as a WOMAN, I can guarantee your strategy will not work. as a WOMAN- I can guarantee that not all women are attracted to this "bad boy" persona. If that was the case, only -oh lets say- 25% of men would ever get laid/engage in dating/get married. Lastly, as a WOMAN- I can guarantee that your "oh poor me"/pity-party-pissed off attitude will NOT get you any love. I guarantee, most WOMEN find it as a turn of. HUGE. TURN OFF.

So good luck to you, sore-ass.

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