Sounds like someone WAS born in a barn.

wtf? poor kid. a) children that age have an attention span of approximately 5 minutes... so bad call on the entertainment choice (get a baby-sitter). b) if he says he's gonna barf... get the hell out of there and take care of your sick kid. pretty sure that's a part of the job description when you become a parent...

Someone getting up from their seat does not disturb a performance; it's something that happens all the time, everyone is used to it. This person is a bad parent.

Is this even true? Nooo, it can't be. This one just sounds too gross. This one has to be made up.

I never thought the diaphragm cleaning wench in the airport john could be trumped.....some are sicker than others!

A fucked up but effective way to get a little leg room. Maybe the kid is bulemic? Maybe the mom is a really bad cook? Maybe a little too much Heroin? Maybe the kid just didn't like the show? Maybe not. There is just no figuring out peeps. I must say this is even grosser than the skank cleaning her diaphragm in the airport bathroom! I bet they wiped a few boogers on the armrests at intermission, I hope the ending wasn't too happy. EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Well i'm hereby calling bullshit on this one. It just sounds too fake. Letting your kid vomit right in your lap? People this ghetto would attend a theater show?!

Why must every "I Anonymous" be some passive aggressive vent. Everytime! Did it ever occur to people you can walk up a say something to the prepetrators? You might even feel better about yourself for having some balls.

Someone should have stood up and urinated on the woman, while yelling "THE ARISTOCRATS!" Now that would have been theater.

@JeanPDX: I think that's just the nature of this column. You best live with it.

If it was a column recounting all the times when ballsy people totally confronted jerks, then it wouldn't be called "I, Anonymous" - but instead would be something like, "Oh yeah, and Frank? John has one more thing to say!" Know what I mean?

At any rate, this is gross. And yeah, of all those people in the crowd, one of them should have been like, "Like hello? You're ruining this for everyone!"

Really too bad. It was an amazing show. Hope you got some measure of enjoyment out of it, despite the ridiculously bad behavior of this particular family. Shame on them.

Mmm...ice cream puke. Homer likes it!