I, Anonymous Mar 31, 2011 at 4:00 am

Spiritual Dog Shit Unity


I guess this is one reason I'm glad I don't own a dog. I don't have to be forced with the decision of upsetting people by using a small portion of their precious garbage cans or carrying around a bag of shit. A real Sword of Damocles, that.
I wish said dog walker would have just let the dog shit on your lawn. At least that way you would have had a real reason to bitch.
You mean the garbage cans provided by the city? At least they were picking up the dog shit.
This is the lamest "I, Anonymous" ever.
I want to personally shit on your lawn right now, seriously. You are a fucking joke with internet access and nothing more.
Oh no!!!!!!!!! Someone put garbage in a garbage can! WORST CITY EVER!@#!@#!@#!@# omg i so relate! It's all REI's fault!
Gross, dude!
This is a sorry excuse for I, Anonymous. This guy is a petty little mama's boy spying as someone puts garbage in his garbage can?! "My trash is mine and you can't touch it!"Did you go stick your head in the garbage can afterwards to see if it smelled bad? Really? Who gives a fuck! You little motherfucker, I hope you suffer something really bad so you have to complain about. For a radical Portland punk rocker/hipster you are really small minded. Maybe you just moved here from suburban Texas and you just just go back. Mercury guys: you guys are lame. OK, so you've got a job that pays worse than frying burgers at McDonalds, but, have some fun, find something outrageous for "I Anonymous."
Dog people are some of the most obnoxious, oblivious, and icky city dwellers out there. Oh, why don't you bring your slobbering, brutish, flea factory with you EVERYWHERE you go. I'd love to hop-skip-jump around your pet's anal excretions, find it in my garbage cans, and wonder what the fuck it's doing in the patio section of my favorite restaurants.

Thank you, I Anon. This 'shit' is gross.

Also, the city doesn't provide garbage cans. They do so only with recycling receptacles.
I'd be delighted if my neighbors would put their dogshit in a bag and drop it into my garbage can. Instead, they let their dogs shit in the yard and just leave it there. It's not a big deal, really, but it's inconsiderate at best.
I'd rather have them put it in the garbage, considering every tweeker with a pit bull in my neighborhood lets them shit pretty much everywhere, including my yard.
Wow, this guy is a real ass-hole. As several people have already pointed out, it is better to give up 4 square inches of space in the can than to have shit left on the lawn. Grow up.
This could have been funny as a skit on Portlandia ... except Larry David already did something like it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5fTyrz63Qw
Have to agree, I'd far rather have the poop in a bag in my garbage, than sitting on the sidewalk in front of my house, or in my yard. This person was actually more considerate than most. Getting mad over your garbage, really? It reminds me of Hank Hill saying, "A man works hard for his garbage, just to have vagrants come and steal it." Take a little, add a little, as long as the garbage is in the can an not in the street or in my yard, it's all good.
So, your garbage smelled fantastic before the poop bag arrived, yes?

Ever notice how anyone who uses the "Kumbaya" trope in their argument is always an asshole with an invalid point?

Lastly, 'I, Anonymous' seems to have reversed its mission. Now it's all about who has the thing with the least reason to be stated anonymously.
Pathetic, worthless hang up. Mind you the pic shows someone tossing the doggiedoo in the recycling. That's not on.
I do this all the time, if my neighbors are out I ask first and have never been refused, if nobody is outside I follow a five step rule. If I can get to your garbage can within five steps of the sidewalk I will use it. Don't want poop in your can? Put it in the garage or try what one neighbor did and write "DO NOT PUT POOP IN HERE" on the lid in black marker.
I did this all the time when I had a dog. He's picking up his dog shit and putting it in the garbage. Next time he should put it on that persons porch.
What a control freak. You should feel fortunate they picked it up at all. Waaay too many people don't even do that.
Someone put garbage in your garbage can? Is that really what you are mad about? Who cares what's in your garbage can?! Are you, like, going in there and digging around with your bare hands and then being like "what? there's poop in here and now I have poop on my hands oh nooooo!"? Because that's not really what you're supposed to do with garbage. The city picks it up! You don't even have to TOUCH IT once it's out there! What do you care?! God, this is the worst I Anon ever. I wish I knew who you were so I could take a personal shit in your garbage can. You are seriously the biggest idiot ever, and that's saying something, since this is the internet. JACKASS!
Huh....no I, Anonymous this week. Guess they forgot.
This was the best I, Anonymous for this week? This column should get the axe...
Man, this one hit a hot button!

My feelings are aliitle mixed on this one. Yeah, it is abit of an annoyance to open your trash can one day & see a little baggy of shit there that you know didn't come from any living thing in your home. Even a person's trash can is still their private property. I guess i'm fine with it over-all, fuck knows there's bigger things in the world that bother me. Better the trash can than for it to just be left on the sidewalk, right? Also, it's not realistic to expect a person to carry a bag of shit all the way home with them. Since most neiborhoods don't have designated shit receptacles that the city deals with, maybe the best thing would be to drop the bag in a dumpster. Who can complain then?

But ATLEAST it's awesome that SOME dog-owners even bother to pick up after their filthy animals. Many dog-owners are as much loathsome disgusting litter-bugs as smokers who leave their butts everywhere. Up until recently, i lived in the Belmont/Morrision area along the 30th blocks - high concentration for both bars & dog-walkers. My old neiborhood was not only covered in cigarette butts, but dog shit left behind by lazy-ass people who walked their mutts everywhere. Now one of the main reasons i do NOT have a dog is b/c i refuse to pick shit up after someone/something else. Clearly, alot of other people feel the same way but they go ahead & fucking get dogs anyways. Many of these people can't even afford to take care of the damned creatures. The least (no really, the very least) they can do is pick up after them.

So sure, go ahead & put it in the trash. Just don't fucking leave it there on the ground. Sheesh!
Do it, asshole, and see if I don't make you eat my dog's shit
Thank you for one of the best middle-class white people complaints I have ever heard. Do you realize you are griping about someone who is cleaning up after their dog's mess instead of leaving it on the ground for someone to step on? Oh that's right, I forgot that you don't have any real problems so I understand that a small piece of dog doo sealed in a plastic bag coming into contact with your precious trash is a serious offense. I'll admit, I am also guilty of picking up after my dog and disposing of his waste properly so I would like to apologize and I promise not to violate your sacred trash compartment ever again. My dog would also like to apologize but since he can't speak he will be leaving a token his of apology in your lawn.
To paraphrase Allen Ginsburg's Howl: "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by I, Anonymous, starving hysterical naked."

I cannot believe the comments on here supporting someone putting a bag of shit in someone elses garbage can! Really?! It is OK to put a bag of shit in someone elses can that they pay for? REALLY?! That said, I guess I'm ok with it if it hasn't been hauled away yet - but if you're throwing it in an empty cart that sits there and reeks for a full week, that is not OK. Take your shit home. It is not your garbage can to decide what goes in it you selfish assholes.
I think we should all fill JoeSchmoe's trash can with dog shit, just to make him happy.
I assume that once I put my garbage out by the curb, it's free game. In fact, that is legally true. I.e. it's legal for someone to poke through it and take things if they want.

I wouldn't want someone to come onto my property to put something in my can. But I'd be pissed that they're waltzing onto my property, not that they're using my garbage can.
Hey fuckstick. Would you rather have them let the dog SHIT on your lawn? The answer looks like a YES to me. They picked it up, they put it in the can - so shut your fucking miserable mouth. People like you are the neighbors from hell we get every once in a while. Don't use my garbage can. Don't park in front of my house. Keep your kids quiet. Tell you what, why don't you move to Pluto and FUCK OFF.
What a complicated fetish creep -- dog shit and REI. Hope it was good for you, Mr. Peeps.
Is it possible to make pottery out of dog dookie.I can picture a vase with a rose in it for some folk.I got some rubbuh gloves man.Whats that?No I never smoked labradour.Peace.
Having had to spray out runny dog shit from my garbage can (twice now), graciously donated anonymously by a neighborhood dog owner. I would propose that all "garbage" is not created equal. I do not shit in my garbage can nor transfer my shit to my garbage can. I do not expect to find stinky piles of runny shit in my garbage can. Where, I do not mind having to deal with whatever accumulative funk I may have contributed to the inside of my garbage can, I thoroughly resent having to clean out the funk of others. Especially in the warmer months. Why do we allow these animals to shit and piss all over our public places?

Hey, the alternative to not putting your dog crap bag in my garbage can is taking it home and putting in in YOUR garbage can. It's not let your dog crap on my lawn. Seriously.

You know what, I don't own a dog because I am not a fan of dogs. Not everybody likes freakin' dogs. I don't like the smell of dog crap nor do I like it making my garage reek until the next garbage pick up, particularly in the summer.

So, if you just looooooooooove having a dog, then deal with the dog crap and deal with it at your own house, in your own garbage can.
I think most people tie off the poop bag at the top, I really doubt any poop actually touches the inside of your precious can.
i guess this is the kind of person you'd have to ask if its ok to use their bathroom. NO!! only I SHIT IN THERE AND IT GOES TO A VERY SPECIAL PLACE WHERE IT HAS IN HEAVEN!
DOPIMMO.com is one of the best sites for posting classified ads. Advertisements run for 1 year for just a one time fee!

"Shit happens" I have no life or I wouldn't be here commenting....I guess.
If you had a problem with this person putting their dog waste in your garbage can, why did you watch him instead of asking him not to? Seems like the person with the dig was responsible enough to clean up after the dog...something I would like more people to do. I also understand your not wanting it in your garbage can...but why not go do something about it when you can?
This is the most first world problem I have ever heard some over-privileged blowhole take the time to publicly bitch about. Ever think this person merely didn't expect that there was someone in the world so insanely possessive of their fucking garbage can as to care if a stranger used a few inches of space? Does your garbage normally smell like a fucking floral garden and throwing out your trash was this amazing sensory experience you're being deprived of now? Garbage cans stink with or without poop. How much could this possibly inconvenience you?

If operating at a level of hostility anywhere below Insane makes a person a kumbaya singing Mr. Rogers, then I guess I take that over being a bitter human raisin full of petty, misplaced rage.
I'd guess that 98% of the haters here are renters who don't give a shit about anything because they don't own anything (except a bunch of, yes, crap) or lazy dog owners who don't want to carry bags of shit around (hint: don't own something that shits). If the bags are so perfectly sealed and scentless then FUCKING CARRY THEM HOME! I know dog owners have no sense of smell, having burned it out while living around the stinking curs, but stay the FUCK away from our cans.
Shit is shit is shit is shit, no matter where you dump it.
Way to run and complain about it in the Mercury instead of saying something in the moment...

I think that could have been me. I walk my dogs and I pick up their shit in little bags and I do sometimes put them in my neighbor's garbage cans, if they are out on the curb. I don't have an REI jacket but I do like doing outdoor stuff and walk my dogs rain or shine, so do have a good rain jacket that looks like it could be from REI. I drop the bag off in a garbage can because I like taking my dogs on long walks and it is annoying to carry a smelly bag (yeah, it is smelly) for long distances, and people sometimes give you funny looks and avoid you if you're carrying a bag of shit in your hand. Anyways, sorry if you didn't want it in your garbage. I honestly didn't think I was causing any problem, but won't do it anymore - it is your garbage can, after all.
I'd rather have dog shit placed in ANY garbage can rather than seeing it left - unbagged - on the sidewalk. It gets real old and besides, at least the dog owner was responsible enough to pick up after their dog. I don't understand why this letter was printed; it's whinney and very stupid. This person doesn't live in their garbage can, do they? So what do they care and why is this an issue with whoever wrote this? SHUT UP!!!
This is the worst IA there has ever been. God forbid a tied-off plastic bag with feces inside should make it within the borders of your garbage kingdom. Only in this town could anyone possibly care. Did this person live on N Albina Street? In my head this sounds like the same soft passive-aggressive Portland accent as my old neighbor: "Um, excuse me, on this street we like to park our cars in front of our own houses."
You'd like to think your trash don't stink.
I am a first time city dwelling dog owner. Just got my dog a couple weeks ago and when I first read this I thought, "Oh, maybe this is some social (city) grace that I've never heard of." NOPE.
Yeah, I rent and I don't have a yard. This means a couple things: 1. Every time my dog needs to go out (4-5x) a take her out on a leash. 2. I take her on LONG walks (1-2x) in order to get her energy out so that she won't jump on you when we walk by you on the street. 3. My apartment trash can(which is full of shit) is 2 inches from my door step, where I sit on nice hot days after work. If the lid is closed, I don't notice it.
If you need to complain to someone talk to the city about the lack of public trash cans.
I will continue to put my dog's shit in your trash can if you have a problem with it, come out from behind your anonymous curtain and tell me to my face. Next time I might just light that bag on fire.
Lauren, I will certainly ask you, in a courteous but firm manner, to take your dog's shit out of my garbage can. Otherwise, my choices are: (1) have a paste of your dog's shit smeared at the bottom of my garbage can, which will make me want to vomit every time I take the trash out or (2) put my own head in my garbage can, pull your dog's shit out of the can, and follow you home and give it back to you.

If it comes out of your dog's ass, it's your responsibility. Why do you think they're called shit-machines-on-four-legs?

Today a woman walked all the way up my driveway to put her dog's shit in my garbage. I was behind my fence gardening and told her 'please don't put your dog shit in there' but she left it somewhere else on my property for spite - niiiice. The reason I'm a nazi about this is is because we have MONTHLY GARBAGE PICKUP - and that stuff does reek after a month. A sign on my garbage lid now reflect this %$#! situation. And would I prefer a pile on my lawn? No, but why should I have to choose? Your dog, your shit, your garbage. Plus, I got rid of all my lawn for several reasons, and this was one of them.
Your dog. Your dog's shit. Put it in YOUR own fucking trash can. If I wanted dog shit in my trash, I'd get a fucking dog. I, I suggest that you get a high quality BB gun and make sure that dog never shits again.
Wow, this one I Anonymous has stuck in my head for months now. I can't stop thinking about it. But I realize I have this guy to totally thank for helping me understand why we are constantly at war all over the planet, why people can't get along. I was always a bit perplexed, because most people I know are pretty nice. But not you dog shit in your garbage can guy. Wow. It's really almost unbelievable.

So let me get this straight; a neighbor, a fellow human, is walking down our streets where we live together, with his dog, which I bet he loves, which is, like a creature worthy of love as well, and he has a bag for dog shit. His dog shits, he puts it in a bag, because he doesn't want people stepping in it. Because, he's a human being, with a heart, with a dog that he loves, in a neighborhood full of people trying their best to get along. So this other guy is hiding in his house, and instead of walking outside, saying hey, let me take that for you so you don't have to walk home with it, and what's your name, by the way, and then they find they have all sorts of things in common, and they become friends, because really, they live in the same place, and are both trying to get along, and learn to love, and be accepted and part of the world they live in.

But uhhh, no. the guy in the house spews an anonymous intensely disproportionate amount of hatred, class warfare type sentiment, intolerance, judgment, dehumanizes the guy, throwing in a contempt for, wow, unity even. amazing. really amazing. damn that "unity" bullshit anyway, right?

Thank you again for helping me understand the roots of never ending war. Aggressive ownership of even a trash can (NOT really yours), lack of understanding that helping a guy helps yourself, and how hating on him twists you up into a shriveled up kinda guy...it's just fascinating.

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