Bar owners of Portland,

After working behind the bar for many years in this town, I've learned a thing or two about successful bars. One is that, simply put, if you want a place to thrive, the concept that "the tail will wag the dog" is one that will never work and one that marks your place as a desperate, poorly run establishment. I always chuckle reading the CL posts looking for a bartender who "knows how to be on stage," "can develop a dedicated clientele," "will bring in and maintain a customer base." A bit of advice. Are you listening? Your bar sucks. You don't have a dedicated clientele because you don't know how to run a bar and how to create a place that people will want to come to regardless of whoever's working. Depending on the bartender to draw patrons in will always be a losing proposition. Get your shit together and create an interesting, welcoming space with something, anything, that sets it apart from the competition. It really isn't that hard, so try harder, please.