You're on the streetcar and the guy next to you asks for directions because he is just visiting. You want to be hospitable and so you decide to share your perception of Portland. The conversation always sounds like "here in Portland...bicycles...Burgerville...blah blah blah." This is so annoying and most of what you claim is crap. Stop it.

Give the directions and wish the guy best of luck. He'll figure out what Portland's all about once he experiences it.