Dear Conventional Medicine,

My thyroid is producing too much fucking hormone so your recommendation is to zap me with RADIOACTIVE FUCKING IODINE and then you tell me to avoid my CAT for a full two weeks? Are you FUCKING kidding me? And I can't have any contact with other human beings - especially children, pregnant women, and I can't touch anyone or have SEX either until I am not dangerous to others??? Do you really think this is going to cure me, or kill me? And thanks a lot for being so "booked up" that after my Emergency Room visit blood tests told me I was basically a hormone producing freak I have had to wait FIVE WEEKS just to see a Specialist - no treatment, just wham, bam, thank you man while my heart beats so fast I am on bed rest and now you are going to turn me into some freak of nature superhero with RADIOACTIVITY and potentially KILL MY CAT? FUCK YOU!!!!