Make your own goddamn coffee, fuckwit.

or buy a coffee-breath ignition interlock device which doesnt let you start your computer unless you blow at least .08 dbv (dragon breath volume)

While castration seems harsh, I do agree that brewing weak-ass coffee should be punished. If you can't stand strong coffee, water down your portion! But there ain't shit we can do with weak coffee except pour it in the toilet, hopefully while dunking your head in it. (In the toilet, not the coffee...we're not barbarians.)

This is a major complaint at AA meetings and military bases. Is there a support group to bat around why you can't put that secound scoop in the ole pot?

Safeway brand instant coffee is extremely high in caffeine. It's a blend of wide varieties from many different countries, and tastes quite fine if you make it according to the directions, but I take about four, well rounded soup spoons full, and mix with about three ounces of tap temperature water, then chug it down in a matter of seconds. Now THAT'S what I call, and eye opener.

I think it's safe to say that I,Anon is in a state of General Disarray.

At $170K per year, you'd think he'd have the secretary make the coffee. How'd he ever get put in charge? The successful executive knows how to delegate responsibility. A good secretary knows how to make good coffee.

This thread is hilarious and makes me feel way better about the relatively minor role that I have played in my own workplace's coffee wars.

We recently had a problem with the non-coffee drinking first employee to arrive each morning suddenly deciding that she was going to make the coffee every day, despite not liking coffee or having any way of knowing if her coffee was any good. It most assuredly was not good. The passive-aggressive shitstorm that ensued would have been comedy gold if anybody had had enough caffeine in their system to find the humor in it.

I'm sorry, but I'm all out of coffee at the moment. May I offer you a Coke or a Sprite or something?

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth allmamatter? My parents would ground me forever if I ever said anything like that to them.

BTW, if you're looking for a kiss, I know someone who'll kiss you for $5. Even if you have diabetes.

I haven't watched television in eight years. I'm not a snob. They are just too heavy to carry around, and I thought if I used the Dana Carvey persona, the buttfuckers might cut me some slack.

The fact that I don't know what Allma said is driving me cra----zaaay!! Love you , Baby! Even if you have diabetes!

Allma just wrote passionately and profanely (...and repeatedly) about coffee and the importance thereof.