By now you've no-doubt heard of Über and their coattail-riding co-fuckers, Lyft. Do you use rideshare services? Maybe it never occurred to you to call for a ride before they came along. Or maybe you used to use cabs, but this is new and iffy cheaper. Well, there are always reasons why services are cheaper. I'm a real taxi driver. You know - the few, the vetted, the licensed, the trained, the hyper-insured, the heavily-taxed, the local, the abused, the forgotten. I wouldn't even mind the competition so much if they played by the same rules, although they did make us faster and took some of the shitheads. But rules don't apply when Google/Goldman and Sachs are backing you. And thanks to Commissioner Turncoat, their devil-may-care fleet of 10,000 mostly Washingtonians and deep suburban feeler-uppers are worse-fucking the already fucked-up traffic flow, living and dying by their GPSs (which always want to take the long-haul to the highway), taking advantage of the already low standards of the Oregon DMV and taking a third or more of our income. To add insult to injury, the entire city's cab industry just got re-vetted at our expense and additionally taxed 50 cents per fare. Is this the progressive, local-minded town it claims to be? Fuck no, that's a myth. Being a SaltnStraw licking, Nike-bike riding phone-twat is as close as it gets for many of you. But if you're not more careful, you're entitlement will get you killed.

PS - We have a new app. Hi-yah!