Have you ever dreamed of working a seasonal car-washing job? Ever desired to provide landscaping for rich people who stare at you from their living room windows while you mow their lawn in the rain? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to work on a farm picking produce for pennies a basket? Well, dream/desire/wonder no more!

Once The Wall is built and undocumented immigrants deported, I can now work my dream job in the farm labor field earning below minimum wage for 16+ hour shifts! I've long dreamed of having a back-breaking job where I make the bare minimum with no benefits, and now that Trump promises to deport millions, these jobs will finally be ours!

You, too, can now apply for that car-washing job you've been gunning for, or that dishwasher position you've been beaten out of every time you've applied! Don't wait; get that resume updated now!

I call all my patriot friends to join me in quitting their high-earning jobs with benefits, and immediately apply for the nearest position left vacant by deporting millions of undocumented workers! Who will join me?!!