I know some Americans are weirdly into Brit culture, they hang up Union Jacks everywhere and devour Doctor Who or Sherlock or Downtown avidly and completely. The truly strange ones will even feign an accent. But I'm not one of them. It's not a fetish.

I believe that people can be born in the wrong place, and I feel I should've been born in England. I find American culture obnoxious and boorish, nothing about our history speaks to me or inspires me. Everything about UK culture speaks to me more, the slang, the famous figures, the art, the history, and how their news is always so adorable compared to the ongoing American horrorshow. (We'll have "MASS SHOOTER KILLS 30" and they'll have "FOXES CAUSE ROW IN HIGH STREET BALLYHOO".)

I want to make friends with people from the UK but have no idea how to get this idea across without sounding like a lunatic or a creep. I have this intense love for this culture and this place and no one to share it with, as I've yet to find anyone else with a genuine love for the UK who isn't just an obsessive, weird fan. ("I don't even watch Downton!" I protest in my head)

I've thought about trying to crash the British Ex-Pats Portland Meetup, but that would be such a yank thing to do and the problem of how to explain my situation without sounding mad would still exist.

I realize that this is more of a "Dear Abby" than "I, Anonymous" but since it's not about fucking I can't ask Dan Savage and I'm pretty sure "Dear Abby" is dead or a robot.