Watching the world's largest migration of Vaux Swifts dance and spiral down the Chapman School chimney is a truely magnificent experience. Hearing them chirp and sing would be part of this experience if your dumbass children would shut the hell up. Or more like, if you, their parents thought to tell them to do so.

One month out of the year, we're graced with this beautiful occurrence, and I have to listen to the sounds of children running, jumping, and screaming like it's a goddamn Chuck E. Cheese. Don't get me wrong, the kids playing and sliding down the hill on cardboard sleds is adorable, and it looks fun as hell. But when the swifts start to circle, it would be totally adult of you to tell your child, "it's time to sit down, the swifts are coming, and everyone would like to hear them."

If you don't want to do this, maybe you should stay home. Maybe you should appreciate that we didn't just go to watch, we came to listen, and your child is being disruptive to that experience. If it's easier for you to let your kid scream than teach them when it is or is not appropriate to do so, then let that brat scream at home, not at a place where I've come to appreciate nature.

So, please, consider being a good viewing neighbor, and silence your children instead of drowning them out, because that may come easily to you as someone who has to live with them, but I choose to hear the birds.

From the thousands of people there without children, thank you.