Kalah Allen

I am a veteran stripper at an inner Southeast club. The open shifts at my club are pretty desolate, but you have to work them if you want to work the busier night shifts. Most of us utilize this time to stretch, or work on pole tricks. We are often exhausted from working the night before and are usually grateful for the downtime, especially for the first hour of the shift. But here you come, trotting up to the stage with your bad breath, your PBR, and your single, damp dollar in hand—the clever morning shift customer, with the highly original line, “You look lonely!” Actually, YOU look lonely. You’re the one in here dying to see pussy before noon. I’m just over here trying to do sit-ups, and that’s worth at least two dollars. —Anonymous