I've always been jealous of my friends who have good relationships with their parents. None one seems to see what I see. Being how I am, it's just easier to blame me. Makes sense. If I were on the outside, I might see it that way too.
I don't even know exactly how to describe it. Perceived slights. Power trips. Control. Anger. Selective hearing and memory.
You have a magnified sense of how everyone else is doing you wrong, but can't identify any of your own flaws.
It's my fault for not being strong enough to get away. None of the work I was doing over the past decade matters, nor anything before it. I convinced myself that I could get better. Maybe I have the same problem.
Maybe I'm not really a good person. Surely not a significant one, mr spy hard.
I let myself become dependant on a person who I do not trust or respect. A person who leaves damage in their wake for their fucking ego. Shame