Happy Valentine’s Day, now tap into your dark side.

Take a moment to look at those freshly cut flowers and ponder the similarity of a serial killer and horticulture lover.

Every year we violently slice the tender stems of roses on this ritualistic day just as they reach their prime. Then we take said flowers and place them on our dinner table and morbidly smile and smell them over a fresh meal. Letting them slowly decay.

The truly sadistic grow said flowers in their own garden from a little tiny seed nurturing them gently with love. For these people the power of killing is not enough, they need to watch and wait for the opportune moment to use the corrosive free yellow hand-held guillotine via the hardware garden department.

The truly scary botanist killers keep the flowers on life support via a clear vase full of water, slowly watching their demise day by day. Perhaps maniacally laughing gently over a glass of wine enjoying life while watching the roses slip away. The truly disturbed even scatter the decapitated petals through the house leading to the bedroom to commit vile acts on said remains. Just buy candy.