Kalah Allen

Dear Passive-Aggressive Pottery Witch Who I Met at the Art Fair Last Weekend: You say you have an art degree, and you claim to know fuck-all about making coffee mugs—yet you fail to tell customers that your home-brew glaze is potentially toxic. I double-dog dare you to tell customers what happens when they go home with their handmade soup bowl with its cheapo home-brew glaze and put it in the microwave or dishwasher. YOU FUCKING KNOW that it gets tiny cracks called crazing that allow yummy things like lead to seep into the food! THEN you have the nerve to act offended when someone like me—who actually cares about customer safety—asks you if you use commercial glaze, and what brand it is. (I use Mayco or Amaco, which are about 45 cents an ounce.) EVERYONE in the ceramics industry knows what “lab tested” and “certified food safe” means on the labels of commercial glaze, and why it’s important to not fucking poison your customers with home-brew cheapo glaze. I hope a house falls on you.—Anonymous