I’m so sick and tired of these armchair occultists, weekend witches, and grocery store mystics living their half-cocked, all talk, guru-wannabe dreams all over this town! How do you fucks all sound the same? Do the classes online at magick.me teach you which Crowley books to claim to worship, what Coil records to idolize, and what “occult” imagery to market your “elevated selves” with? I’ve seen the decline of esotericism, and it’s you warlock assholes reading The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Kabbalah, and the Picatrix for dime-store “magick,” and Barnes & Noble Wiccan wisdom. (Oh god, fucking wiccans.) Just admit you read The Secret and that’s when you became “enlightened”! NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU FUCKING VISION-BOARD BEING A PROFESSIONAL MYSTIC, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A FRAUD.—Anonymous
This Week’s Featured I, Anonymous!
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.