“Where is this coming from?” you keep asking while looking up at the bathroom ceiling. I wasn’t paying attention the first few times you mentioned it—until I realized you were talking about that one spot on the bathroom floor.

It’s coming from me! You see, I stand over the dark spot on the floor and rub-n-fluff my ears, hair, and face to let loose and exfoliate my skin/crust/dander. I marvel at how much will drop from me onto that little space! Sometimes I will use my foot and form shapes. I just assumed it would go unnoticed as the janitor cleans the floor nightly. That is until YOU decided it was something worth getting curious about. Now I have to find another spot, you dick!

—Anonymous