I met you at the bar today.
I asked your age, you blew me away.
It should have been our little secret.
I blabbed.
I told my boyfriend. I told our “new friend”. I told our “new befriended couple”.
You deserved better.
I am sorry I gave you away.
I am sorry that I used you to seek my own truth.
I am sorry that I interrogated you to find irk.
My truth to have or not have children, is not your truth.
I should not have used you.
I am sorry.
But I do thank you.
For you did help me.
And I will forever, dwell on whether or not that help came as a form of charity, or forced, for my own selfish need.
Just as I will continue to dwell on whether to have or not have children.
I will live with that.
Until I no longer have a choice.
I am sorry.
For all of us women, I am sorry.