Look, I know itโ€™s Portland. And I know you like driving slow. I know it makes your dick hard/pussy wet to piss off every car behind you by going 10 miles under the speed limit. But itโ€™s summer time. Itโ€™s literally 100 degrees RIGHT NOW as I type this. And because Iโ€™m a dyke with a specific aesthetic and no money, I drive an old truck with no AC. So while youโ€™re cruising around in your Prius going 19 MPH down MLK with the AC blasting I need the actual wind in my hair to feel cool (aesthetically and temperature wise). That wind only blows when I drive faster than 20 MPH. Without that breeze, Iโ€™m so hot I want to fucking murder you. I want to run you RIGHT OFF THE FUCKING ROAD. I have an electric vibrator with more speed than your electric car. So get over your perfectly climate-controlled self-righteous ass and drive like a normal fucking person. Or I might just follow you home and kick your ass.โ€”Anonymous