I served with Sgt. Trump during the 'nam, and he was the bravest among us, the smartest, the quickest, the funniest. I mean, this fella was an all around true American. I member this one time Charlie threw a grenade in our foxhole, and Sgt. Trump picked it up in his hand, stretched his arm back and in a voice that would make Clint Eastwood jealous, said: "This one is for all the boys who won't make it home, and for all the girls who love them. Yes, this is for Johnny, and Ricky, and Tommy. This is for Harry, and George, and Franky. Even more than them, this little beauty that I hold in my hand right here at this very moment in space and time is for Lady Liberty, and her two pals, Truth and Justice. This one is for America!"

He lodged that grenade right back to ol' Charlie and we all got coated in a spray of blood, brain and tiny fragments of bone. IT WAS AWESOME. From that day forward I became a Republican.

Trump was da man in da 'nam!

It's really too bad how fat, immature, vile, sick and petty Sgt. Trump has become. I never thought he'd cheat on his wife the day after his son was born. I never thought he would become a self-admitted sexual assaulter, and I never thought he become a prolific liar, con-man, and traitor.

The Sgt. Trump I knew was a true American hero. Sure, he was born with a silver spoon up his butt and given a multi-million dollar fortune from his da-da...AND he's the only man to have bankrupted more than one casino, but he WAS an American hero nonetheless.