Now Portland has one less rental house and I'm out $4500 "relocation" plus several thousand in legal fees. I had to evict four tenants who didn't use a shower curtain and caused repeated rounds of bathroom mold remediation. The attorney said if I hadn't acted when I did, I would never have gotten rid of them.

I really resent being treated like an absentee slumlord. Piss on everyone in city (and state) government who imposed this draconian "residential protection" policy.

And I really hate being turned into a Republican, but how can I ever vote for you again?

Coming up next: if you're a landlord, you'll soon have to accept junkies and bums as tenants.