So you saw Portland Attempt at Barbecue Restaurant No. 136 close and thought to yourself "You know what would work there? A SPORTS BAR." Are you thick? Did you don't just see On Deck sell its second location. Did you not see that location become a lightly-screened sports-themed bar? Did you not see the Pearl Tavern and its college QB owner fail and get replaced by a relatively screenless brewery? Did you not see Century basically ditch the sports theme for movies and DJ nights? Did you not see the entire Blitz chain implode. Now you're going to put up a few dozen screens while some jamoke a few neighborhoods away tries his hand at a golf beer bar. Let me clue you in: The sports bars that worked in whatever corner of the country you came from (or even in Seattle) don't work here. Despite what the local, lowly rated sports radio hosts here would like you to believe, this isn't the sports town you think it is. Bars will drop some screens for the Blazers, the Timbers, the Thorns, and international matches, but nobody gives a shit about your July baseball. Nobody outside of Claudia's cares that the Blackhawks are playing. And, if we're being honest, nobody gives a shit about what's happening in the NFL on Sunday. Do yourselves a favor: Go to Spirit of 77, the Independent, or even the new 4-4-2 and get a sense of what a "sports bar" looks like here. It's isn't bros swapping business cards and it isn't a room hypnotized by screens. If you can't figure that out, then I eagerly await getting one of your new screens at auction. The Olympic trials at Hayward are going to look amazing on it.