Hey, guess what? When you go out to eat on your birthday, unless you’re five years old, DON’T ASK THE STAFF TO SING TO YOU!!! You’re a GROWN ADULT. If you really need to be the center of attention that badly, ask your friends to sing to you—but if they’re your real friends, you shouldn’t have to ask! The rest of us don’t give two shits about your birthday, and you sure as shit don’t deserve a free meal just for being BORN! If you have people in your life that care about you, they will buy your meal or give you a piece of cake. I’m sick of people who think they’re entitled to some free food and a song from total fucking strangers! I don’t mind singing for a little kid, because that is cute and kids deserve to have a special day. But you’re an ADULT! Act like one and buy yourself a scoop of ice cream! Happy birthday and fuck off!!!—Anonymous
I, Anonymous: Happy Birthday!
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.